“I’m watching you from anywhere and everywhere at once!”
Spambots are losing their creativity. A recent bot visitor copied text from the very post it was “commenting” on and submitted it.
This is the paragraph our bot friend copied:
“Okay, maybe he’s not a real pirate, but if you love Monty Python, Marty Feldman, and pirates, then you might have a soft spot for 1983′s Yellowbeard, starring Graham Chapman as the title character, which was reportedly inspired in part by Keith Moon.”
For a moment, Transman wondered why the bot would copy this particular paragraph. Then, he realized that the paragraph, like those written by most bots, is a little hard to follow with all the commas and awkward phrasing and strings of subjects; the bot was only copying what resonated deep within its electrodes.
For fun, Transman used the I Write Like site to get another computer’s opinion of the text. He entered it with quotation marks and was told he writes like David Foster Wallace. When he removed the quotation marks, the computer suggests that he writes like Cory Doctorow*, Kurt Vonnegut, or Stephen King. Clearly, Transman has missed his calling as a sci-fi/fantasy/horror writer.
Transman’s heart almost burst with joy when the computer told him he writes like James Joyce.
“Listen to this Philippe: ‘Transman’s soul swooned as he realized had typed the same words, the same exact words as Joyce and Beckett and Shakespeare and all those other crumbling ashy writers from the past.’ Rubbish!” Joyce shares a note with Soupault.
Son 2, it should be noted, writes like Margaret Mitchell. Or, Chuck Palahniuk, depending on the text the computer was scanning.
“Well, of course, we write alike. We’re cat lovers, you know.” Margaret Mitchell points out her connection to Son 2. “And very good looking people, I might add.”
“I’m kind of fond of lamb, myself,” Chuck Palahniuk said.
* Doctorow’s bio on his blog was still within its expiry date at the time this was composed; if you view it after St. Patrick’s Day 2013, then Transman is not responsible for any out-of-date info. Neither is Mr. Doctorow.