Robotic voice: If you are already a customer, please hit 2 at this time; if you would be willing to participate in a customer service survey after this call, please select 7. “I just want to speak to a live person!” Cary Grant as Transman.
Transman was having some problems with his cable, so he called the customer service number and went through the automated system six or seven times before he got routed to a hold center, where he then spent nearly an eternity waiting to speak to a real live human being—only to be told they couldn’t help him after business hours because he needed a different piece of equipment than the one they had sent him in the mail.
So, Transman went to the cable company the following day for the right piece of equipment and when he got up to the counter, he explained the problem and then added, “I’d also like to change the name on this account.”
He handed the fella behind the counter his account number and his driver’s license.
“The easiest thing to do is close this account and start a new one,” the customer service representative told him.
“Okay,” Transman said.
“You’ll have to pay the balance on your wife’s account before I can close it out,” the man said.
Transman resisted looking around to see who the man could be talking to and calmly said, “Okay. What’s the balance?”
Transman got out his checkbook and wrote a check.
“Hey man,” the guy behind the counter said, “since you’re technically a ‘new customer,’ you get a discount on the package y’all have.” He then proceeded to quote Transman a monthly fee that was $25 bucks less than his “wife” had been paying.
“Cool,” Transman said, basking in his newly found male privilege and vowing not to tell his “wife” about the $25 bucks he was going to pocket each month.
“You thought you were going to keep $300 a year hidden from me?!” Rosalind Russell as the imaginary Mrs. Transman. “Wait, honey, I’m still on hold. It’s only been 45 minutes. I’m sure someone will pick up soon.”