The Secret Life of Transman*

Transman has set up a little home gym in his living room. When he puts the equipment to use, he feels like he must look exactly like this:

"Who keeps stealing my shampoo?! I just worked out. I reek like onions and sweat socks! I need that Essence of Pine Forest!!!" Hugh Jackman as Transman.

“Who keeps stealing my shampoo?! I just worked out. I reek of onions and sweat socks! I need that Tea Tree Oil and Sandalwood-scented shit!!!” Hugh Jackman as Transman.

But, really, this is probably closer to the truth:

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“Where the hell are my feet? I know they’re there, but for the life of me I just can’t see ‘em! … I swear to god I can still touch my elbows!” Jack Nicholson as Transman.

P.S. Dear Mr. Nicholson, please don’t hunt me down and kill me. You are far scarier and more badass than The Wolverine any day of the week.

* In reference to James Thurber not Stevie Wonder (by way of Peter Tompkins and Christopher Bird). If you don’t get any of those references, you need to get to Googlin’ or better yet, make friends with a librarian who can help you find out all kinds of crap and who will actually smile at you and probably not share your weird searches with the government.

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7 responses to “The Secret Life of Transman*

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