Transman sucks at cleaning. He hates it, yet has not figured out a way to convince the kids to do it for him. Yes, he did try making it a game and outright bribery, but “Laundry Basket Free Throw” pales in comparison to everything on Xbox. Apparently, the Household Clean-up Challenge even sucks more than the Shaq-Fu game and Atari’s E.T. the Extra Terrestrial game combined. As far as bribery goes, Transman’s kids gave him some lame-o excuse about how “you can’t spend pocket lint!”
Transman thinks the cleaning aversion is genetic. His mother did keep a neat house, but she also had a pathological disorder centered on rearranging the furniture every two days to make room for crap she brought home from thrifting. Her rallying cry whenever she entered a second-hand store was, “It’s hideous! I love it!” Even if she had no idea what IT was, it came home to live with us. She had no choice except to keep pathways clear so she could bring home more things from the Island of Unloved, Broken, and Rejected Nicnacs.
Transman’s father once tried to dry socks by putting them in the microwave. ‘Nuff said.
We won’t go into detail about Transman’s failures at personal grooming, but he did have a cat once that groomed him.