“We’re going to a New Year’s Eve party? Ooooh, Transman! I could kiss you to pieces!”
Transman doesn’t believe in setting New Year’s resolutions, but here are some of his goals for 2013:
Get that memoir finished already so a bad TV Movie of the Week can go into production.
Sophia Loren laughs with delight at the idea of playing Transman’s mom in the biopic of his life while Frederico Fellini and Marcello Mastroianni question her sanity. “It will destroy your career,” Mastroianni warns.
“And then Transman suggested I be in his movie …” Michael Caine explains while Morgan Freeman and Liam Neeson nearly wet their pants with laughter.
Find a barber in his town who 1) can get sideburns even and 2) understands that the haircut he/she gives to the 19-year-old college student isn’t a one-size-fits-all ‘do and definitely does not work on a 40+-year-old guy.
“C’mon, Transman, whaddaya mean our hair ain’t good?! We oughta kick your ass! We would, but we gotta go inside; we don’t wanna get lightning in our hair.”
“Don’t be ridiculous, dear,” William Powell as Transman, “my hair does not have too much ‘product’ in it. What do you mean I am a clod and embarrassing you in front of your friends? They’re not staring at my hair, honey-lamb; they’re staring at you and wishing they were you. By the way, we’re on a love seat–wink, wink, nudge nudge.”
Start exercising so he does not keep getting mistaken for Lou Grant (p.s. Transman loves Ed Asner).
“If I have to explain the difference between ‘your’ and ‘you’re’ or ‘then’ and ‘than’ one more time, I swear I will set fire to my desk!”
And now, Transman will leave you with some great New Year’s wishes in the words of someone with much better hair than his:
Neil Gaiman.
”May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness. I hope you read some fine books and kiss someone who thinks you’re wonderful, and don’t forget to make some art — write or draw or build or sing or live as only you can. And I hope, somewhere in the next year, you surprise yourself.” ~ Neil Gaiman (If you haven’t read any of Neil Gaiman’s work–put that down on your “Goals for 2013″ list!)
December 31st, 2012 at 7:20 pm
Garrett: Wishing you and the kids much blessing in the year ahead. In case you missed it, here’s a link to my post from yesterday (“Claiming the “Happy” in New Year”), if you’re looking for some light reading tomorrow: http://thewalkbook.com/claiming-the-happy-in-new-years/
By the way, I finished answering my ten questions so I’ll be going to the next level here real soon. I could use some clarification however, so if it’s okay, please leave your phone number on the “Contact Me” button on my website at http://www.thewalkbook.com. I’ll connect with you during the week.
January 1st, 2013 at 10:41 am
Thank you. I misspelled your name in the email; please forgive me. Hope you have a great start to 2013.
December 31st, 2012 at 11:17 pm
Happy New Year to you and yours! You’ve been one of the pleasant surprises I found on this blogging expedition of mine.
January 1st, 2013 at 10:40 am
Thank you. It’s been very cool to find so many wonderful bloggers.
January 1st, 2013 at 1:32 am
Happy New Year handsome. The part of Sindy played by Britt Ekland ala 1969
http://www.tvrage.com/person/id-4546/Britt+Ekland
January 1st, 2013 at 10:39 am
Happy New Year to you! Dating Peter Sellers was a good career move.
January 1st, 2013 at 4:24 pm
Happy New Year, Transman! All the best as you navigate a world not quite caught up to your level of self-actualization.
And props on the Neil Gaiman. He is a god.
January 2nd, 2013 at 5:53 am
As per usual, you are the king of captioning. Happy New Year and hears to a great haircut! Oh and I guess the book thing as well.
January 3rd, 2013 at 3:43 pm
Maybe I could just work for a spoof celebrity gossip magazine and be done with it.
January 3rd, 2013 at 12:01 am
YEAH!!! Love Neil Gaiman, ever since the first Sandman came out.
January 3rd, 2013 at 3:42 pm
Sandman is how I discovered him, too. Yay for parallel experiences! Wait … that doesn’t sound quite right, does it?
January 3rd, 2013 at 6:36 pm
Happy New Year! Sophia Loren is my idol.
January 6th, 2013 at 5:26 pm
Happy New Year!
January 7th, 2013 at 3:00 am
Gaiman’s wish is pretty cool. That should be like a standard sendoff or goodbye for everybody. When my hubby goes to buy milk at the grocery store, or he goes to a doctor appointment, I could say “May your destination be filled with magic and dreams! Live life as only you can! I hope you surprise yourself.” It works for pretty much any situation, really.
I wonder what would happen if I did start doing that? LOL. He’d probably think I’d gone off my rocker.
January 7th, 2013 at 5:26 pm
Well, just try it out and see what happens. Although, he make take that “surprise yourself” part as free license to do things like go out and buy a Winnebago.
January 7th, 2013 at 5:33 pm
LOL. I wouldn’t be against a Winnebago. But if he tells me he bought a yacht, I’m divorcing him. I draw the line at ships that go out on the open ocean.
January 7th, 2013 at 5:36 pm
What about one he keeps docked, but maintains solely for the purpose of throwing glamorous parties?