Short guy grooming

“No one’s going to recognize us out of costume,” Chico Marx whispered to Groucho. (Chico was 5’6″ and his younger brother was 5’7″–they still turned out to be comedic giants.)

Transman has written about the challenges of being on the negative side of the average U.S. male height range of 5’9″-6′, but he keeps finding people looking to his blog for help on both fashion and being a short dude, so it’s time to offer up some tips for letting the world focus on what a great guy you are. Read on:

Go for fitted clothes and stick to one color head-to-toe:

“People think I’m at least 5’10” when I wear this,” says the 5’7″ Tim Roth.

Shorter guys tend to look better when they pay attention to their hair and face. Both should be clean and your hair should work with both your height and face shape. If you go for facial hair, make sure it is balanced with your overall proportions. Dressing well also helps.

Seth Green in suit, full beard and slightly shaggy hair = adult.

“I exude grown-upness now,” says 5’4″ Seth Green.

Seth Green in just mustache and casual clothes = kid wearing dad’s clothes and fake ‘stache.

“I want to be a movie star when I grow up,” said young Seth Green.

Let Transman repeat himself: Wear clothes that fit.

Jack Black in his usual jeans and T-shirt combo is turning into a middle-aged frat boy.

“Yeah, well, screw you, Transman. This is my look and it nets me more money in a week than you’ve made in the past decade,” said the 5’6″ Jack Black.

Jack Black in a suit is a grown (albeit shaggy) man:

“I still make more money than you, Transman.”

If you’re going for casual clothes, go for classics that are your true size. Clothes that are too baggy don’t make you look bulkier; they just emphasize the fact that you’re shorter than the average man. Clothes that are too tight make you look like Charlie Chaplin.

Five-foot-five Alan Ladd lookin’ slick in 1943 could just as well be in a current Land’s End or L.L. Bean catalog.

Learn to accessorize.

Harvey Keitel plays by the short-guy rules and wears well-fitting clothes in solid colors; his jacket and scarf are the right proportion for his frame and his sunglasses don’t overwhelm his face.

“Carrying red roses through the streets gets you noticed,” says 5’7″ Harvey Keitel.

If you’re short and getting older, stay in shape.

“Me and Harvey Keitel could kick all your asses,” says 5’7″ or so Willem Dafoe, who is also pushing 60.

Go forth and be handsome.

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