More from the Testosterone files

“Yes, my changes are coming along at almost the same pace as this fellow moves.”

Transman has been on testosterone for about six months now, so it is probably time to document some of the changes he’s noticed. Transman’s disclaimer: Each doctor gives their patient a customized dosage and, that, combined with the patient’s genetic predisposition, means results are different for each person. In short, if you’re looking here to see what might happen with you, your results may vary.

The wonderful and elegant William Powell stars as Transman in this post. (All photos borrowed from

Now, for those changes …

Transman’s hair is getting crazy curly.

“Another three months and I’ll have a full-on Bozo going on on top of my head.”

Not only is it getting curly, but Transman’s hairline is shifting. He is happy to report that so far, his hair isn’t jumping ship altogether.

“I love your sideburns!” “Thank you, but could we go somewhere else? I’m afraid of clowns. Deathly afraid of them!”

Transman’s manly funk is evening out. To go ahead and be graphic, when he first started testosterone, Transman’s body odor took on a whole new smell and it was a little embarrassing when he forgot to wear deodorant.

“My god, man! Where did you put the Speed Stick?! I have Superfunk that no amount of showering can get rid of! Crap, I’ll just cover it up with Old Spice.”

Testosterone makes Transman’s appetite think it’s fueling a teenage boy instead of a middle aged man. Transman needs to figure out how to ignore the voice that compels him to visit the kitchen.

“Nothing. Not even wilting lettuce.”

Transman finds his eyes wandering with embarrassing frequency, almost as if his eyeballs are magnets and beautiful women are made of metal. (Yes, Transman knows that somewhere someone is designing a robot woman who will come and stomp him to death for objectifying her fleshly sisters.)

“… and we can meet the deadline if–excuse me a moment …”

“I must stay right here by the water cooler. Very important to stay hydrated, you know.”

“I promise I will always look directly into your eyes from now on!”

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2 responses to “More from the Testosterone files

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