Forever Young

“May you build a ladder to the stars …” Bob Dylan as Transman. “May I have more cake?” Jakob Dylan as Son 2. Transman still digs opening his sodas with a can opener and he looks damn good in a hat.

Transman’s youngest recently had a birthday and it’s been an eventful year for the whole Transclan, what with Son 1 being a full-fledged teenager and Transman starting testosterone. (Son 1 accused his Transdaddy of “doping” to gain unfair¬†advantage in the “bad teenage mustache” growing competition.) Transman figures he needs to lighten the mood around here after the past few posts, so here’s the weekend in pictures:

Transman woke up bright and early with many plans for a delightful day.

“I must drink a pot of coffee and enjoy myself before the kids wake up!” (That’s a candy cigarette, I swear. Lighting them on fire carmelizes the sugar.)

Then, he did a little exercise.

“I swear this is yoga. George Harrison taught me this before the Concert for Bangladesh.”

“And then I gave him a right hook …”

“Don’t you lie to the people, Transman.” Muhammad Ali as himself.

“Okay, so I really played with an old whitewall tire I found beside the Dumpster.”

Then, Transman took a shower and got cleaned up.

“I hate when the seam of my socks rubs my toes.” (Transman is addicted to candy cigarettes. Who doesn’t love that chalky taste?)

After that, he helped decorate for the party.

“Between my asthma and all those candy cigarettes, I feel like I’m gonna burst a lung here.”

He led the kids in a game of “What Time Is It, Mr. Wolf?” followed by a round of “Red Light, Green Light.”

“How many times do I have to tell you this is not a contact sport? Take four steps back.”

Finally, they had cake.

“Blow this damn thing out before the building catches on fire.”

P.S. Allan: I hope you’re happy.

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