Go in handsomeliness, my child

“Mr. Whiskers, you must help me help them!” Marlon Brando as Transman writing an advice column for the not-so-good-looking. image from tumblr.

As Transman was peeking through the stats on his blog, he noticed that some poor reader had landed here searching for:

‘affirmations to be a handsome man’

Transman knew he couldn’t let that lonely, sad, no self-confidence fellow down. So, gentle reader, if you want to look in the mirror and see Adonis* staring right back with a twinkle of confidence in his eye and mischief in his grin, read on. Take a few moments throughout the day to gaze lovingly at yourself in the mirror. Try not focus on imperfections and flaws, for they simply add character. Embrace them. Love your handsome devil self. If you cannot look in the mirror and fall right in deep everlasting love, then repeat these phrases as you stare at your reflection:

  • I always feel handsome at work, home, and play.
  • I am a divine idea in the mind of the whole world.
  • I light up the world around me with my rakish grin.
  • When I see me, I see HANDSOME! So does everyone else.
  • My life is full of good-looking people and I am at the top of the list.
  • I let go of the mundane and embrace my heart-stopping good looks.
  • I forgive everyone in my life for not being nearly so good-looking as me.
  • I am thankful for my looks. So is everyone else on the planet … maybe even in the whole solar system.
  • People Magazine¬†doesn’t have a cover big enough for all my charm–that’s the only reason I’m not the “Sexiest Man Alive!” every year.

Repeat these phrases before you go to bed and when you first wake up in the morning. Whisper them into the steam of your coffee at breakfast and over your baked potato at supper. Write them by hand in the margins of your legal pad as you take notes during meetings at work or school. Write them hundreds of times each day until they are part of your muscle memory. Then, have them tattooed on your inner eyelids.

“When I see me, I see HANDSOME!…” How else do you think a boy named Archibald Leach grew up to be Cary Grant? image from nytimes.com

* Ladies, you can unleash your Aphrodite upon the world simply by swapping out the masculine pronouns and referents for feminine ones. See? The whole world is instantly beautiful. Easy peasy.

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25 responses to “Go in handsomeliness, my child

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