Leonardo DiCaprio as Transman; Jack Nicholson as himself. “Yuck it up, pretty boy. I used to have a full head of hair and six-pack abs, too.” Image: imdb.com
Okay, Transman took a cheap shot at Jack Nicholson in the last post. But he did it out of love; Jack can take it. He’s one tough mofo.
Next to Jack, Transman is only an amateur badass. Jack has 12 Oscar nominations under his belt; Transman won a sixth place ribbon for the swim team when he was 8. A skilled artist, Jack turned down a job as an animator for Hanna Barbera, because he wanted to pursue acting; Transman was once demoted from fry cook duty to shrimp de-veiner. Nicholson used to live next door to Marlon Brando; Transman doesn’t know his neighbors’ names. Groucho Marx’s son, Arthur, did a profile of Nicholson; Transman has watched all of the Marx Brothers’ movies, even the crappy ones like Love Happy.
“Never gonna let you down …” Rick Astley just got in line to kick Transman’s ass. Image: blueviagrapill.com
Despite the jokes, Transman digs the fact that Jack has aged naturally–something that is tougher and tougher to do in American society if you’re an average guy and nearly impossible if you’re an A-list actor. Everywhere people are assaulted with miracle cures against aging–little blue pills, botulinum toxin injections, and creams and potions to shore up each and every thing that sags.
When Jack’s hairline headed north while his gut headed south, he wore both like badges of achievement. His wrinkles and gray hair are external proof of a life lived to the Nth. May we all laugh and love enough to have those lines around around our eyes.
Jack’s version from Louise Gannon’s profile of him in the Daily Mail:
‘If men are honest, everything they do and everywhere they go is for a chance to see women. There were points in my life where I felt oddly irresistible to women. I’m not in that state now and that makes me sad.
‘But I also believe that a lot of the improvements in my character have come through ageing and the diminishing of powers. It’s all a balancing act; you just have to get used to the ride.’
“Laugh all you like Transman; have you seen my girlfriend? You crying? You sad now?” Jack Nicholson as himself. Image: fanpop.com
Or … the short version, “Dear Jack: Please don’t kick my ass. Your pal, Transman.”
Read more of Gannon’s interview with Jack Nicholson here.
April 11th, 2012 at 11:32 pm
“It’s all a balancing act; you just have to get used to the ride.’ – how true. Jack forgives you…
April 12th, 2012 at 12:07 am
Oh, Dianne, I hope you’re right.
April 11th, 2012 at 11:36 pm
My husband literally ran into him at FAO Shwartz one year and he shoved back only to realize it was JACK! Hilarious. He gave him the space he requested after the initial shock….
Great post!
April 12th, 2012 at 12:07 am
I would be so tempted to embellish that story. “The night I fought Jack Nicholson for the last Cabbage Patch Kid.”
April 12th, 2012 at 12:12 am
Seriously! We were there for toy fair. That week Jack was in the NYT for partying in random places without a body guard. I don’t think there was anyone with him when we saw him. He had sharp elbows according to my husband although he pushed back! Hahaha!
April 12th, 2012 at 12:13 am
That’s a great story.
April 12th, 2012 at 12:55 am
A great piece!
April 12th, 2012 at 5:57 am
You are so correct in that he has aged naturally.. My other fellow, Al Pacino’s face has been stretched so tight he now looks oddly Oriental.
How cool would it be to hang out with the Jackster for a few drinks or such..
April 13th, 2012 at 1:31 am
When I play those games where I imagine inviting various people from history to a dinner party, Jack’s always on the list.
April 12th, 2012 at 7:08 am
Transman,
Please watch Five Easy Pieces five times in a row.
Then Carnal Knowledge. Try and not be bothered by Garfunkel.
I don’t know if this is much of a punishment, however.
Le Clown
April 12th, 2012 at 11:26 am
Who pays attention Garfunkel when Candice Bergen, Ann Margaret, and Rita Moreno are around?
April 12th, 2012 at 11:27 am
Transman,
You. Me. Movie date.
Le Clown
April 12th, 2012 at 11:28 am
Deal.
April 12th, 2012 at 9:06 am
He is so damn cool.
April 12th, 2012 at 11:30 am
christ, i can’t get enough of jack nickies and you, transy. can’t get enough. great post. xoxoox, sm
April 13th, 2012 at 1:25 am
The feeling is mutual.
April 12th, 2012 at 11:50 am
Did you just Rickroll your blog?
April 13th, 2012 at 1:22 am
Better than the Russian trololo guy
April 12th, 2012 at 11:57 am
Wow, I did not know that about Jack’s talent for animation! Very cool.
I think this is a super timely post, and I can defintiely relate. I want to go the way of Helen Mirren or Meryl as I age. I’m aiming to keep it classy!
April 13th, 2012 at 1:24 am
We’ll keep it classy together.
April 12th, 2012 at 10:27 pm
This has nothing to do with your entry, not really anyways, but I have ADD! The second I saw that viagra pill, all I could think about was the fact that the other day at work, the janitor attempted to tell me like THREE viagra jokes while sweeping the room. I was disturbed.
Really disturbed.
April 13th, 2012 at 1:21 am
That just means he likes you. Seriously … creepy.
April 14th, 2012 at 7:09 am
I’ve got to admit Jack doean’t appear in many of my favorite films, but he carries an undeniable charismaboth as an actor and as a man.
The comment you made is very true for the state of manliness in general, since more and moe people appear to be taking all kinds of cosmetic and surgical
April 14th, 2012 at 7:16 am
My cellphone betrayed me. Dammit.
The point is that men are starting to become a little too vain; and it’s not even for sex anymore.
Kids are growing faster and adults are taking longer to age. We’re only kidding ourselves into thinking we control the time we spend living.
April 14th, 2012 at 8:34 am
Self-esteem and confidence are important and attrative features, but the all-out vanity people seem to have these days is alarming.
April 14th, 2012 at 8:15 pm
I’ve discovered something about Jack Nicholson (Robert Duvall, Johnny Depp, and a few others whose names I cannot remember right now): I’ll watch a movie with these guys in it whether or not it’s one of my favorite films. Jack does life well, in movies and out. As do many of my favorite bloggers, you included. Well, okay, maybe not in movies, but still…
April 14th, 2012 at 8:18 pm
I’ll assume that was for Transman LOL
In any event, I’ve never doubted Jack’s acting ability. He was great in One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest and The Departed. If I watch a Jack Nicholson movie, I know he’s going to be making it entertaining, even if it’s that strange romantic comedy with Diane Keaton.
April 14th, 2012 at 8:30 pm
And how about About Schmidt?
April 14th, 2012 at 8:40 pm
I have yet to watch it, admittedly.
April 15th, 2012 at 11:10 am
@ paralaxvu: Yes, that handful of actors usually brings authenticity to whatever role they take on, so even if I’m not particularly interested in the movie, I’ll watch it just see to their performance.
April 17th, 2012 at 2:06 am
I love Jack. And I can’t think of one actor who has better scared the piss out of me for any role, bar none. He was the shit in The Shining. Nightmares from that one…Visions of his face with the ax or whatever peering through the door…*shudder* The only other actor who has ever come close to being that scary for me was Anthony Hopkins in Silence of the Lambs. They were two different types of scary though.
April 17th, 2012 at 8:45 am
Yes, both Nicholson and Hopkins are wonderful to watch on screen. Hopkins is another model of accepting aging.
July 24th, 2012 at 7:35 pm
[...] to convince everyone he’s a middle-aged dude embracing the natural effects of gravity like Jack Nicholson. “Now, Transman, don’t be a p***k,” Jack Nicholson as himself. image Rate [...]