Deadlines, deadlines

Keep working, Bub; this pile ain't getting any smaller. Image: Transman

Oy-vey! Transman’s got way too many deadlines in his life. The posts have dwindled to almost nothing because there’s always somebody wanting something from Transman–students want their papers back, the boss wants the next project, the kids want food, even the damn cat wants something from Transman. Don’t they see they’re keeping me from procrastination through blogging? Demands, demands, demands.

Amy Pond, you sometimes cross Tranman's mind. Image:

Transman is going to get himself a sponsor or two just like a NASCAR driver. Think of the possibilities: everyone from Auntie Vixen’s Toy Store to In-and-Out Quickie Lube could put their ads on Transman’s suit. He would hawk products if it put a pretty penny or two in his pockets. Transman would sell out tomorrow if it meant he could stay home and watch Torchwood and Dr. Who while he wrote about whatever crossed his mind.

Transman has no artistic integrity. It wouldn’t upset him at all to cheapen his work with bright splashy ads. But they do have to be bright and splashy or real cool 60s retro ads because Trasnman is all about the surface and he’s a sucker for packaging. And jingles. Transman digs a catchy jingle. Whoever is responsible for the Meow Mix jingle in the 80s should be inducted into the songwriters’ hall of fame as far as Transman is concerned.

Transman’s got to get back to work, but there are some things marinating in his brain. He’s not sure whether to write his next post about how fun it is to be a fur-bearing mammal at the gynecologists’ office, fashion advice he gets from women in his life, “manliness lessons” he gets from his neighbors and coworkers, or more crap his kids say to get him in trouble in public.

"Ha-ha, Transman, you suck, dude!" Johnny and Keef scoff at Transman for being such a sell-out. Image: Rolling Stone

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