Transman needs to run out and buy himself a tux. Cristy Carrington Lewis http://paltrymeanderings.com/ has awarded The Adventures of Transman the 7×7 Blogger Award. This honor comes with grave responsibility and severe conditions. If Transman doesn’t follow through on them, he will have to drink his coffee with Splenda for the next three years and he will have to go back to high school and take geometry for a fourth time.
Here are the basic rules the recipient of the award is supposed to follow:
1) Reveal seven things about myself that you don’t already know (a.k.a. PART ONE);
2) Link seven of my posts to the following categories: Most Surprisingly Successful, Most Underrated, Most Popular, Most Beautiful, Most Helpful, Most Controversial and Most Pride-Worthy (a.k.a. PART TWO); and
3) Bestow this tremendous award – and responsibility – upon seven other bloggers and share with you why I believe they are so deserving (a.k.a. PART THREE).
So … here goes:
1. Everyone who knows him, knows Transman has impeccable taste in music. However, much to Transman’s deep shame, he has a fondness for 80s music. Transman likes to pretend the only music he listens to is stone-cold cool: Tom Waits, John Coltrane, George Clinton, James Brown, The Band, Miles Davis, Ray Charles, The Heptones, Waylon Jennings, Mississippi John Hurt, Howlin’ Wolf, Lou Reed, Bob Dylan, etc., but if you open his glove compartment, you will find CD evidence of Transman’s misspent youth: The Cure, Funboy Three, Haircut 100, Wall of Vooddoo, The Go-Gos, The Bangles, The English Beat, The Talking Heads, and The Violent Femmes could show up on the playlist. Transman drives down the road singing, “I want candy!” at the top of his lungs. C’mon, you can’t resist its charms either:
2. Transman used to dream of being a comic book artist. Because, seriously, who dreams of becoming a technical writer or a copy editor? My friend Pat is a newspaper editor and we did time together on the copy desk for a small paper in South Florida. Recently, he told me a great story about one of his copy editors. I don’t recall it word-for-word, but I agree with the essence; the copy editor told my friend: “If my kid comes up to me and tells me he wants to be a copy editor, I’ll kick him in the stomach as hard as I can, and when he falls to the ground, I’ll stand over him and say, ‘you feel that? If you become a copy editor, that is what you will feel like at the end of every single day.’”
3. Transman cuts his own hair. If you ever see Transman in person this won’t surprise you at all.
4. Transman was on the swim team in elementary school. He even won a ribbon once. Unfortunately, it was pink.
5. Transman was an Elvis impersonator when he was 5 years old. He would put on the King’s records and lip sync and swivel his hips. His family thought it was hilarious. Transman’s older sister once burst into the room with the whole cheerleading squad to laugh at him. Transman has never recovered and, to this day, cannot listen to Elvis without hugging himself and rocking back and forth a little.
6. Horses don’t like Transman. They buck him off, drag him, kick him, bite him, and blow snot on him. Transman is not easily grossed out, but horse snot is gross.
7. The first book Transman ever owned was The Poky Little Puppy. The lessons Transman learned from that book stayed with him for life. He learned that crime does not pay; the puppy who comes in late gets no strawberry shortcake. It was only a few mere steps from The Poky Little Puppy to Michel Foucault’s Discipline and Punish.
How to segue from Foucault to the next part of the award requirements, responsibilities, and rules? Well, actually, Foucault is a great one to use as a transition from one set of rules to another; however, Transman is being side-tracked by a niggling nagging idea about what it might have been like if Foucault had written a children’s book: “The Guilty Little Puppy did not suffer alone. For his mother’s punishment was directed at all of them, at all the potentially guilty little puppies.”
Transman must move on before this gets too weird even for him. Part two of the rules say I need to see how each of these categories can be applied to my blog posts.
Most Surprisingly Successful: Who knew how many people would relate to “out of the mouths of babes” material? … even when it focused on the kid outting a parent: http://theadventuresoftransman.wordpress.com/2012/01/27/kid-quit-outting-me-please/
Most Underrated: I don’t really have any underrated posts. I’m actually surprised at how many people have responded so positively to the blog. So, I’ll offer this up as one that I underestimated. From the feedback, I received, it seemed like I hit the brakes when I should have driven on for a couple more paragraphs: http://theadventuresoftransman.wordpress.com/2012/01/27/hello-world/
Most Popular: This isn’t the most popular. That’s actually the one about peeing, but this entry provided catharsis for some readers–everyone who had been forced into awful activities by their parents or struck back at a bully: http://theadventuresoftransman.wordpress.com/2012/02/01/i-aint-wearin-no-tutu/
Most Beautiful: Hey, it’s about hair and there’s a clip of Farrah Fawcett. That’s the closest Transman comes to beauty in his work: http://theadventuresoftransman.wordpress.com/2012/01/28/will-my-hair-migrate-to-my-back/
Most Helpful: This gives you some of the basics about how to deal with the transfolks in your life: http://theadventuresoftransman.wordpress.com/2012/01/29/aint-nobodys-business-but-my-own/
Most Controversial:This actually is the most read post, but it also generated the most commentary that ventured toward politics and human rights … like the right to go pee when you need to: http://theadventuresoftransman.wordpress.com/2012/01/31/when-you-gotta-go/
Most Pride-Worthy: Of the stuff I’ve posted so far, this is the one that combines the writing and graphics in the most pleasing way. I like my photo illustration at the top because quickly sums up my take on how people read masculinity: http://theadventuresoftransman.wordpress.com/2012/02/04/so-you-wanna-go-out/
This is the hardest part because there are so many really talented and creative people blogging and it’s hard to pick just seven people to highlight. (Transman’s tastes in blogs is almost as eclectic as his taste in music. Not everything will be embraced by everybody). Here’s the list:
1. The Chronicles of Creepy Pants is a hilarious novel-disguised-as-a-blog. You like dark humor? You’ve lived the cubicle life and spent 7.5 hours of the workday creating scenarios in your head about co-workers to help the time pass? This is the blog for you: http://creepypants.wordpress.com/
2. Dating the District–Transman always contemplates life in the big city. Then he thinks about traffic jams, cost of living, hustle, and bustle and he freaks out. He prefers to live vicariously through smart sassy folks instead. http://datingthedistrict.wordpress.com/ Plus, Jules is keeping another blog to deliver tastes from her zombie apocalypse novel. http://brainsss.wordpress.com/
3. The NotWriter– Oh, all writers procrastinate. But not all of them write so prolifically while doing so. The Not Writer chronicles her thoughts about the writing process, literary history, and Massachusetts. http://thenotwriter.wordpress.com/
4. Holly’s Walk–one woman; many pairs of shoes. Holly is keeping a journal of her journey as she walks across the country. She has some inspiring posts about the people and places she sees along the way. http://hollybernabe.wordpress.com/
5. Ksnapped. An enthusiastic blog about writing, adventure, and life. Funny perceptive pieces with plenty of photos for those who need visual aids (me). http://ksnapped.wordpress.com/
6.Photobotos.com--a pair of brothers and many guest photographers bringing you an amazing shot every day. They have guests from around the world contributing, so there are some great perspectives of places you might not get to on your own. There are also some great tips for photographers on the site. http://photobotos.com/
7. The Sandy Tongue–funny, honest, tough; not for the faint-hearted or the politically correct. Do you ever want to tell the world to f*&$k off? Yeah, so does he, but he’ll make you pee yourself laughing while he raises his middle finger. http://thesandytongue.wordpress.com/